Searching for home: Autumn California days.

October has become a hard month for me since my mom died five years ago. Even the amazing weather of California with its blue skies and bright sunlight doesn't always take away the emotional edge (although--I'll admit--the sunshine definitely helps).

I miss the vibrant colors of New England Autumn-- where entire landscapes are dripping with the saturated hues of red, orange and gold. Out here, you just have to look a bit harder and appreciate the small pockets of color.

Oh, California. With your progress and your new ideas. I do love you.

I'm still a stranger here, although I've been a resident for nearly 12 years. I love it dearly, yet I still feel like I'm missing a part of me--living so far from where I grew up.

I wonder where my little family will settle.

 I love to move around and see new places, but I also yearn for a sense of belonging where I live. I've always loved any place I've lived (and I've lived a lot of places). I guess I'm naturally curious and adventurous--but how do I choose the place to settle down?

How about you? Do you feel settled where you call home? How do you know? Please do tell.... share your wisdom.

Embarking on the GAPS diet

My quest to heal Bodhi's gut and to get some sleep continues. I have been immersed in the GAPS (Gut And Psychology Syndrome) diet for the last few weeks. I think this is going to be the answer. I'll post more on this later, but the basic idea is that many health problems (physiological and psychological) are caused by dysbiosis-- a microbial imbalance in the intestines. The result is 'leaky gut' syndrome which wreaks havoc on the body, basically rendering it 'toxic' and manifesting in various ways from ADHD to allergies to depression. The protocol sets out to heal the gut and therefore heal the body and mind.

Yipee! We are going for it. I actually started on the full GAPS diet a couple of weeks ago. Jason and Finn will start the 'Intro Diet' (which is sort of like an elimination diet) on Friday. I can't go too intense with it because I'm breastfeeding and don't want to detox too fast (I would detox right into Bodhi through my milk!)....but I'll be following along with caution.

My goal? A happy baby...which will lead to a happy mommy. I also intend to heal my horrific life-long allergies, Jason's multiple problems ;) and....more on Finn later.

Pictured above you see the fruit of some of my labor-- fermenting veggies, ghee, five quarts of bone broth, frozen lamb's liver, organic beef tallow.... and some of the fixings for the diet.
What is this crazy diet all about? More later... I'm off to take a detox bath.

Worms!: vermicomposting is fun...

We moved our worm farm up to the hills with us from San Diego and the critters are going strong! I've been neglecting them and had to move them to a bigger bin. The problem is that we generate a lot more food scraps than they can eat. We'll have to set up a regular compost pile somewhere too... but I love the worms.

Step 1: drilled holes and Step 2: added bedding to new bin

Finn sporting his 'big boy underpants' outside

After drilling holes and adding bedding to the new bin Finn and I started to add food and some of the worms. The green bin will be stacked on top of the blue bin. Most of the worms are supposed to migrate up to the green bin through the 1/4 inch holes that I drilled in the bottom once they realize that all of their food is gone from the bottom bin... (see below).

Here we are a few days later...moving more worms because I'm nervous they won't migrate! Relax, Colleen, they'll move eventually! Again...Finn is modelling another pajama top with his rain boots.

And here's a shot of Bodhi and me both extremely sleep deprived: