Outside, please.

Sleepy, rainy days

Little boys, trucks and sand.

open land of green, bumpy grass to ride

glider bikes, scooters and even a kite.

wind and skies painted with patterns of clouds

daffodils up, lilacs pending

laughter brings lightness.

Tired boy admires bobcat. (his finger was shut in his brother's door an hour earlier!)

Finn has a new best buddy. So cute!

Happy 'just enough' Spring.

Yesterday marked the spring equinox and we barely even had a winter! I know that I've been absent from my blog lately... so here are just a couple of things I've been thinking about and learning:

1.  I took another one of Christa's Franklin method classes--this time it was about the jaw and neck. I always learn so much from her about how my body works and can apply it directly to my yoga teaching. I had a crazy knot in my shoulder that went away the morning after taking her class.  Awesome.

But the pivotal breakthough I had wasn't even about my anatomy--
it was the idea of using 'just enough effort' in everything I do. This has always made complete sense to me with my body--economy of movement. You don't want to expend any extra energy by clenching your fists while you run or your jaw while you flow through a vinyasa yoga class, right?

I've always had it set in my head (from years of everyone telling me that trying hard is what matters), that if I try hard enough, I can do it.

First of all... that's just not true. But because it usually worked for me it led me to believe that trying even harder must be better. This really killed me with teaching at a charter school because I could ALWAYS work harder. I could always be BETTER, right? When really... I just need to be 'good enough' for what I want to achieve-- which might be different from day to day.  And relaxing-- rather than always pushing to be better will allow me to be 'better' anyway-- same with parenting.
Expending 'just enough' energy makes more sense.

2.  I'm on a new path for healing. I have been dealing with horrible allergies since I was eight years old. Insomnia and stress would flare up throughout the years depending on my life circumstances. For the past 6 years I've been getting worse with the allergies and insomnia. I attributed it first to my job, and then to the death of my mom, new baby, etc... But there's always something and even though I've tried every nutritional plan, supplement and holistic therapy possible, I can't seem to get better. I reached a breaking point.
I found this article and the doctor that wrote it. I'm going to get a hair test for heavy metals and it will probably show that I am toxic. Her plan is more affordable than anything else I've ever done and it makes so much sense. The catch is that it could take a couple of years to heal my adrenals (and in that process let go of the heavy metals). Yikes. But completely worth it if I can feel like myself again... I've been feeling rather hopeless about it lately...

Just one more thing...
3. Speaking of heavy metals, I really love Desi's recipe for natural deodorant. I've always known that most make-up is not made of good stuff, but it really hit home when I received the county's trash instructions and they had cosmetics on the "toxic, not to be thrown out with the normal trash" list. Yikes! So, I'm on a search for natural beauty products that work well.

 If you have any recipes or recommendations please let me know...

Thanks for listening... sorry so long!
xo

Please send your love, strength & prayers

Here is my amazingly strong & beautiful cousin and her husband of almost 24 years (look how in love they are!). This photo was taken 10 days before he was diagnosed with a stage IV glioblastoma (a.k.a.:a brain tumor).

It's been a year and a half that he's been fighting back. Chemo, radiation, 2 surgeries, alternative therapies, nutritional therapy, he's done it all.... and now he's on hospice. They have two boys--ages 13 and 7. I was 13 when my mom was first diagnosed with cancer-- it's such a mixed-up, tender age.

Sometimes it's so hard to make sense of life & suffering, isn't it?

Would you mind sending some love & strength their way?

xo

Winter views & blues

Winter has been almost nonexistent around here. Last year  (our first winter living back up in the mountains) was a crazy (HUGE) snow year with powder day after powder day that I missed while caring for newborn Bodhi. I didn't mind a bit-- I was too busy (and sleep deprived) to even think about i.

This season I bought some new ski gear and was eager  to get out there. Alas, the weather gods didn't cooperate. I still try to make it up to the mountain once a week to enjoy some solitude and silence on the slopes. (Even if it's only for a couple of runs!) 

These are some of the Intagram photos I've been taking (@colleentara).

Can't you just hear the silence?

Lately....I'm exhausted most of the time from lack of sleep (yes, little B is still up 2+ times a night!) and I've been feeling extra emotional about family members battling cancer. I think part of the blues I'm feeling is hormonal. But I'm also like a a fine-tuned antenna-- picking up energy from people and situations around me constantly. I have to find a consistent way to release some of it instead of absorbing it all like a saturated sponge. I feel things deeply, and I'm grateful for that sensitivity... but sometimes it can be overwhelming.

In fact, I think I'll head up to ski tomorrow and let the tall trees absorb it for me.